thus making me awesome and them whores
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
