I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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