Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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