I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize