toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm sobbing to NWA
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
