Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
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