Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
