Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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