found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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