i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
