He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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