you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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