im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
