she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize