I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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