yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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