He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Buhtt sex?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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