i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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