He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
