She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
is wine microwaveable?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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