shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
