She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
