If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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