Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
