do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
