Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
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And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
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Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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