yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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