two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
