I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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