508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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