If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
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