I just threw up on my dentist
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
