ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
