I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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