I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
