found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
