Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
