Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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