Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
