not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
