$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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