i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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