Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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