i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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