My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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