dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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