I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize