first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
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He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
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I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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