I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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