hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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