I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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