woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
