im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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