ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
