I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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