Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
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You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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