is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
