why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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