I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think my vagina is haunted
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
