We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The Olympian is in my bed
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize