I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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